The Shape of Returning
Dream recorded · April 12, 2025
Prologue
The months before this dream had been full of endings and beginnings. After a year of planning, our wedding was over in July. I took August off, but by September I was already hurrying again — Dutch classes, exams, and trying to figure out what came next after leaving my career in high-tech. Then, at the end of September, I broke my ankle. Two surgeries followed. Suddenly, I couldn't hurry anymore. My days became about resting, recovering, and taking care of myself. I had also stopped painting for about a month. Before that, I had mostly been doing paint-by-numbers — something I had enjoyed for years — but lately, even that had begun to feel strangely uninteresting. Around the same time, my mother and I had been going through a difficult period. We had recently made peace, although we weren't quite back to talking normally yet. Then I dreamed about a sea turtle.
Field notes
2025/10/18
Last night, I dreamed there was a sea turtle in a box. There was no water, and the turtle was all dry. My immediate thought was, “Oh no, I need to get it some water quickly.”
Someone beside me said, “Oh—but it looks fine. It should be okay.”
I ignored them, quickly got some water, and poured it into the box. Only when the box was properly filled with water did I finally feel better.
Then I thought, “Why is there a sea turtle here?” And at the same time, “I need to get it back to the ocean as soon as possible.”
Epilogue
To move because the water moves you, not because the world is watching.
- Painted
- 2025–2026
- Medium
- Acrylic pour with gold leaf and ink on canvas, 50 × 40 cm
- In preparation · Prints
Next dream
The Window That Stayed →